A Love Story Jersey Shore Style: Missy loves Tarzan

Please let me find a schmoo  I can manipulate!

This is a love story . . . a girl’s love for money and fame. . . no matter the personal cost to herself or those who get in her way.

It is not for the faint of heart. A Jersey Shore love story . . .

A long long time ago, before Snooki, before the Situation, and before Ronnie, there was a very ambitious teenager that lived at the Jersey Shore.

She was a scrappy little thing, Continued on Faux Reality Entertainment

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58 Responses to A Love Story Jersey Shore Style: Missy loves Tarzan

  1. Buck Henry says:

    Thank you, can’t wait to see what you come up with.

  2. Italian Cookie says:

    I love the straight and logical presentation of this site — they always post details about what is glaringly obvious in a snarky manner.

    I can’t wait for this one!!

  3. Stlrfan8 says:

    Thank you Jesus! (sign of the cross)

  4. Just to ensure you all know — the “Jersey shore love story” between these two pondscum is not typical of NJ shore residents, many of whose families go back for decades, and many of whom made livings at fishing/crabbing/lobstering off the shore itself. I’m from the Jersey Shore, the REAL Jersey Shore, and none of this reality TV crap (“Jersey Shore,”etc.) depicts the still-alive, blue-collar, hardworking style of living. Oh and interestingly, many of the real Jersey Shore folks (with histories there) are not Italian … they are Irish.

    • FauxReality says:

      Not looking to disparage the good people of New Jersey, that’s why the story will make it very clear that this is more Snookie does Romance

    • Buck Henry says:

      We finally see some pics of the guys she was running with. I really want to know who the Tommy the Greek guy is, he was the guy that she truly wanted big time and still want. And who is musty balls, I reallly need to know.

    • FauxReality says:

      Waiting for permission to identify both Tommy the Greek and musty balls.

    • Katie says:

      Is musty balls Robert (Palermo, I believe?) the former owner of Penny Drossos’ salon?

    • madanjones says:

      I’m from the Shore too, I grew up in Toms River. I miss it dearly as I now live in Texas, far away from the gorgeous Atlantic. I go home as often as I can. I have to admit, in my younger Shore days, I too was a bit of a wild child. Worked on the boardwalk every summer, hibernated in the winter, snuck off to NYC a lot, it was a lot of fun. However, I cannot relate to the pondscum because for me, family is everything.

  5. mscynlynn says:

    Seriously, that top picture looks like a drag queen.

    • Jeannie5233 says:

      That’s when Melissa got down on her knees as she was about to go out and perform ON DISPLAY, made the sign of the cross, looked up to Heaven and thanking Jesus! BLEEECKKK!!!!!!

  6. Pixie says:

    I have to eggmit, I can’t wait to see more!!

  7. MrsZiggy1988 says:

    Damn, this sounds like a good ole ghetto book. I’m loving this. Could be a screenplay for a movie Gregg. Please continue. I cannot wait!!!!!

  8. belladee says:

    That was great!! Loved reading that “love story”! Keep up the good work!

  9. MrsZiggy1988 says:

    GREG, this is a cliff hanger….LOL at Musty Balls……stickey fingers, climbing through windows Oh MY Clutching the pearls and the familhy jewels at the same damn time. Tell me more, tell me more. P.S. Make sure you send Joey Marco a copy….LOL

  10. MrsZiggy1988 says:

    Yes, Stickey Fingers saw Stumpy coming a mile away.

  11. madepiley says:

    nice work!

  12. teap0t says:

    Lol poor stumpy the day laborer.

  13. JennyS says:

    Every time I see a picture of Melissa and then look at her sisters, I firmly believe that Melissa does not have the same father as the older 2 hags.

    • Buck Henry says:

      I totally agree. I’ve commented over and over that Melissa must have some black in her somewhere. I don’t think that she has the same mother as her sisters, no way. You look at both of them and her (besides her attempts at using makeup to lighten up her skin) and she still looks more Dominican. Have many of you wondered why we don’t see until the end of this season her “mother”. And when she talked about her parents she only commented about her father and such. Where are the pics of you and your mother doing things melissa.

      I don’t care what anybody says, there is something off on her family tree and from some of her comments and non-comments (when she doesn’t answer a question) I think she is hiding a major issue in regard to her and her father.

    • cns says:

      I read somewhere else that her natural mother was Dominican which would explain any black heritage that she may have. The sisters have the same father but different birth mothers. She does look like the Tia and Tamara twins. She even said that see was told all the time when she was little that she looked like the twins and that people would often ask her if she was black. She didn’t seem to have a problem with people asking her if she was black which leads me to believe that she is aware of her heritage.

    • IEatTrolls says:

      I just wanted to add,
      She could be puerto rican/Italian. I had a friend who was half pr and half Italian and people always thought she was half black. She looked a lot like Melissa, very curly jet black hair, naturally tan similar nose- you get the picture. Anyway I’ve been watching this ho since day one and I always got a vibe from her that she wasn’t full Italian. Nothing to hide, IMO, but she would be the type to deny any heritage other than Italian.
      Also would like to apologize to any puerto ricans or black people offended by possibly sharing a race with such a nitwit. This bitch needs to get real and stop posing

    • CocoaPuffs says:

      She is totally half black. She had her nose thinned but she’s still got the black nose. Look at pics of her when she was young before the skin lightening, hair straightening, and nose job…it’s very clear that she’s black. I think her mama was fooling around on her sister’s dad and that’s why they got divorced.

    • lemonmarabou says:

      they were divorced? oh, that explains all
      melissa got her way of life from her mother I’m sure
      she’s black no doubt

  14. LILBITMORE says:

    DOLLAR-TREE MEET DOLLAR-GENERAL=FAMILY- DOLLAR! wanna-be WAL-MARTS.
    JOEY G + MELISSA = GORGA’S = KMART-FAILURE

  15. Summer says:

    OMG That was awesome! What an idiot to piss off Teresa’s fans. Now we know the truth! We might have gone along thinking she was just a stripper! LOL…

  16. madepiley says:

    Cant wait to see a picture of musty balls.

  17. Dox3jm says:

    Great story! Please tell us more! In fact I think you should write a book!

  18. Bella says:

    GREG!!!!!! You should get paid..xxxxooo

  19. lovebuzz says:

    Love, love, love THIS!!!

  20. Take a bow, FR! I’ll wait here …

    EXCELLENT writing! I was riveted from the very first line through the very last. You have a strong, outstanding talent for research and writing — and you are also very sweet to your followers! I love your site and thank you.

  21. This made me chuckle 🙂

  22. Dubbalicious says:

    What a glorious, albeit sick way to start my day..lol. I love every word written. Keep it coming Faxreality. Seems you have a hit on your hands!!

  23. Tony Melch says:

    FANTASTIC! You, my friend, are a genius!! Well Done!

  24. Tony Melch says:

    oh, and the caption “Big Titties are required for teaching 2nd Grade”…..i nearly fainted from laughter…..haha!

  25. Ali says:

    I really enjoyed this love story! Great work, Faux!
    Your site is also one of my favorites. 🙂

  26. DidiPie says:

    Really LOVING your writing…

  27. Confused RHNJ viewer says:

    Is that first picture Melissa or Joe?

  28. lalalocs says:

    I usually never comet, usually love to enjoy reading but this was amazing @ I had to give you lots of props, you are good ,had me into the story visualizing @ stuff. Great job!! Actually it seems true seeing his face when joeju ask him where did you meet melissa? pricless!

    • FauxReality says:

      Most of the story is true. The photos of ex boyfriends are real.

    • Housewifeaddicted says:

      Love your website Faux! I think it is awesome what you are doing in exposing the TRUTH! Most of us don’t know these people but we invest our time into watching their show and when it is called a reality show we would like it to be REALITY!

  29. RahRah says:

    If you change the locations this could be my SIL. The woman my brother brought home 25 years ago, the one he put on the 10ft pedestal and expected his family, and his parents to look up to and we didn’t he was offended and became angry with us. They haven’t been back and my mom passed 4 yrs ago never having met her 7 yr old (at the time) grandson. Right now I don’t know if my brother is dead or alive. Teresa family could very well experience the same thing which I have been conscious of because it actually happened in my family. The one thing I do understand is that you can only change yourself and to mind your own business. We never did anything but love and support each other, we have the best parents and the demonstrated nothing but love and affection for us. I always tell my loved ones I love them over and over again because it may be the last time I get to say it to them, I could die or they could die. I don’t start fights they a waste of time, I don’t get frustrated and attack, I find it better to remove myself from all negative situations. I know I have a temper but I don’t let any one see that side of me ever–it is called self-control.

    Loved your novella-too bad it is true though!!

    • cns says:

      I agree when people get married unless there is violence or abuse family members need to stay out of the marriage. What’s interesting is while the family won’t accept the unworthy spouse because they don’t feel that they are is good enough but sometimes those marriages outlast the so-called proper marriage arrangements.

  30. ajmaxmomof2 says:

    Damn Tommy the Greek looks ten times better then Joey gorga even with a fuzzy pic in the way!

  31. Kate says:

    Oh. My. God. I am in awe of all the scandalous info you have mined! This is fast becoming my favorite blog for RHONJ gossip. If you don’t mind my asking, do you live in the area and/or have mutual friends in common with the housewives? It’s just so crazy how in one post you’ve managed to uncover so much detailed dirt from Missy’s past when all the other blogs have only been able to vaguely allude to these past indiscretions… not to mention you’ve also put faces to names! Anyway, whatever you are doing, KEEP DOING IT! My mind (and I’m sure everyone else’s) is totally blown!!

  32. Mary Harko says:

    So FREAKIN HYSTERICAL love love love love. Share info with BRAVO TV they dont get it also IN TOUCH mag. They think she is a little darling. SO FUNNY YOU HAD ME AT ROMANCE

  33. embee says:

    Excellent blog! I love this site and check it frequently. Please keep up the good work. These dirty deeds need to see the light of day.

  34. Happy Trail says:

    Ain’t nobody been messin around your marriage ( so quit blaming Teresa for that Me Ho) ” no one cares.” I would love, love, love to see someone chase after Me Ho with gossip and REAL TRUTH. Lets see how she stands up against opposition.
    If MeHo had white hair she would look like George Washington in a powdered wig.

  35. gramalot says:

    You are SO right about G. Washinton. I can totally see that. Laughed til I ached.

  36. Gemma says:

    I’m in love with a…No not a stripper(no pun intended that was a T-Pain song) new website called Fauxreality! I will admit, I laughed until I became confused at Melissa seeing Big tarzan. From the blurs I saw, Tarzan was anything but big, but then you reeled me back and had me laughing hysterically when I saw the Real Tarzan!
    Also, I found you on StoopidHousewives,just so you know 🙂

    • FauxReality says:

      StoopidHousewives is by far the best HW site on web!

    • MinnieMe says:

      Indeed, that woman is a Goddess. Professional investigative journalism skills combined with mad humor.

      But lemme say, Faux, you’re rocking it pretty damn good yourself! I want you to succeed with this and I know you will. Look at the community you already created!

      No matter what, though, I hope it should always be fun for you. Once it doesn’t fulfill that for you anymore, it would be time to ride into the sunset.

  37. Realist says:

    Is Dave c. From Bayonne?

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